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When I read Zola’s story unfold on Twitter, the suspense was there, but that didn’t necessarily translate onto film. The characters were carefully introduced and set up but didn’t really develop that far. It had way more to say about race but sort of stopped short. It doesn’t really say that much about anything in particular, apart from the different ways people can paint themselves to each other - especially online - and the speed at which situations can get out of hand. Zola is about a woman, Zola, who meets Stephanie, and they decide to go stripping together on a weekend that turns out to be very not like what Zola expected at all.

But Zola is such glorious trash, it deserves a gloriously trashy audience an audience on their phone, chatting, shrieking, eating cinema cheese, chugging spirits and laughing their heads off. And I guess that’s good for films like Ammonite or Nomadland or Portrait of a Lady on Fire (around lockdown I really had a thing for films about women trudging through the elements outside).

When I watch films, I’m sober and reserved and keep quiet and observant. It’s available to watch on Sky, and I think as we hurtle towards another winter, it’ll give you a lot of joy. Like when she was at a funeral and muttered (louder than she intended because she was so deaf) ‘I wish it was me in that coffin!’ It’s a very Livia line! I’m sure Tony would have many horrid words to say about being compared to a family a lot more like Hesh’s than his but I don’t know, in between the violence and the cruelty and conniving, it felt a bit like home. Jun reminded me of my German Opa, who wore sports jackets and leather driving gloves until the end and said ‘ach, vort can vone do?’ in place of ‘what you gonna do about it?’ and all the women remind me of my Dutch Oma who would run the house and wear beautiful chintz and, later, would reach Livia levels of misanthropy that I found - mostly - incredibly funny. Or because the bickering and family gossip is so relatable. By the end it all felt so familiar, perhaps because over 86 episodes (and now the podcast, my god the podcast, just two old guys rattling off names of who went to Syracuse and studied under Lee Strasberg and who was in a Scorsese audition and on and on and on, I love it!), I got to know the characters so well.

Full, expansive character arcs, attention to every last grain of detail, problematic faves, power plays, funny quips, and so much appreciation of men who are just big babies trying to prove that they’re not just big babies to all their other big baby friends. But once I settled into a gentler pacing, and got to know each character a bit more, all their foibles and habits, I was obsessed, and now I bang on about it with all the earnestness of a late convert.

#Sidenotes for windows how to

Who knew that so much of my life was peppered with references to this show? Madonn’! At first, it was weird to watch something so slow and ambling, that works to a long story arc rather than streaming-era cliffhangers-per-episode (my last big series was the intensely hyperactive How To Get Away With Murder !). Madonn’! Should I do a Sidenotes for every single episode of The Sopranos ? Should I cook every dish on the show (Carmela’s baked ziti, Artie’s rabbit and Furio’s cheese) ? Should I wear every outfit from the show (grey suits FTW!) The more I watched, the less I discussed with anyone, so I could avoid the tide of spoilers coming in.